


This Christmas Time

by KrashingSpirit



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-01 08:24:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2766278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrashingSpirit/pseuds/KrashingSpirit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Fic:  Ashlyn is a doctor and begins to put work before her wife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story that I wrote a while ago. Right now I am slowing working on changing up character names to make it an AU fan fic. I hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story that I wrote a while ago. Right now I am slowing working on changing up character names to make it an AU fan fic. I hope you enjoy.

The morning rain woke her, pounding down on the roof. Ali opened her eyes. It was still dark outside, and normally she loved the sound of rain hitting the roof, but not this morning.  She looked toward the clock. The red digits read 6:23. It was amazing that no matter how tired she felt on Saturday mornings, she could not sleep in. She rolled over and laid her arm across the king bed. The other half of the bed had not been touched, let alone slept in.

 _She never come home_ , Ali thought to herself. This was not the first time her wife had not come home. In fact, this was probably the fourth…or fifth…or sixth time in the past two weeks. She couldn’t remember anymore. Last night was also not the first time Ashlyn had missed dinner. Recently, it had become an every evening venture; Ali would make dinner for herself, and put leftovers for Ashlyn in the refrigerator. Sometimes, if she came home later that night, she ate them; otherwise Ali took them for lunch the next day.

Yearning for something to hold, Ali grabbed her brown velvet teddy bear off of the shelf above her head. Ashlyn had given her the bear for their first Valentine’s Day, almost thirteen years ago. Ali just held the bear and cried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alexandra Krieger and Ashlyn Harris had been high school sweethearts. Although Ashlyn played on the varsity soccer team since her freshman year, she never took on the stereotypical jock role. In fact, Ali was what other jocks and cheerleaders would call a ‘nerd’, but Ashlyn didn’t care. She was never one who went looking for superficial girls. It took awhile, but once the soccer team saw how serious Ashlyn was over Ali, the team accepted her as one of its own.

Ali was just a sophomore, fifteen years old when Ashlyn, a junior at the time, had first asked her out. Although she was a year older, and went off to college first, their relationship blossomed over time.

Upon receiving her Bachelors degree in biology, Ashlyn went on to medical school to pursue a degree in Neurosurgery, while Ali finished up college with a bachelors degree in secondary education.

The summer after Ali graduated, Ashlyn took her to an MLS game. It had become one of their favorite pastimes. It was an extra special day for Ali because the local team was playing her favorite team. It turned out to be the best game Ali had ever been to. It wasn't because her favorite team tied the game in the 89' or that in stoppage time, they scored the game winning goal. No, the reason that Ali will always remember the game is because right after the first half, Ashlyn knelt down and proposed to Ali. It was cliche, but Ash knew how much Ali loved soccer, and she could not think of a better way to propose. 

Ashlyn and Ali married the following summer. They had a small ceremony, inviting only close family and friends. There was only a maid of honor and a best man. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. Most of their income was going toward Ashlyn’s schooling, so they could not afford to throw a big party. Although both sets of parents wanted to help out with the wedding, they were not able to give much for financial reasons. Both women promised each other that as soon as Ashlyn got the high-paying surgeon job…and school loans paid off, they would throw a huge wedding reception to make up for the meager one they had. It was nice and all, but not what they had dreamed about.

The first four years of their marriage were wonderful. While Ashlyn continued her studies in medical school, Ali taught English at a high school two towns away. The pay there was adequate and they were able to buy a decent sized house to get out of their cramped apartment. Their days were filled with work and school, and like any newly wed couple, their nights were filled with candlelit dinners and lots of lovemaking. They tried to take a nice walk around the neighborhood as many evenings as possible, but with Ashlyn going to school it sometimes got hard, especially around exam time.

However, Ashlyn and Ali both loved the winter and snow, and everything else that went along with it. When the season came to look at houses decorated for Christmas, they always made time to take walks to look at the decorations. They also always make time to find a hill and go sledding when there was enough snow on the ground. There was not a better way to end an evening sledding than with a good snowball fight. When their hands froze, and their ears were numb, Ashlyn and Ali would come home, light a fire in the fireplace, and curl up next to each other with hot chocolate in hand. Those were the ‘good ole’ days, and things changed quickly after that.

When Ashlyn graduated two years ago, she got a full time job working at the local hospital. At first, everything was great, they had more money to go more places, and they began to explore the theaters and museums that the downtown city had to offer. However, not long after, Ashlyn began to change.

She came into work very early in the morning and continued late into the night; well past the time her original shift was over. Because she worked these double, and some times triple shifts so often, when she was home, all she ever did was sleep. Ali could not remember the last time they just sat and talked. When was their last walk around the neighborhood? Or when was their last dinner together? Where was the woman she married? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you all want to see where this goes, I'll work on converting the rest that I have to Ashlyn/Ali, and I still have to write the ending out.
> 
> I also have 2 chapters written out that I need to type up for Love Waits. That is my goal tomorrow. ;-)


	2. Chapter 2

Ali finally got out of bed around ten to seven. She was thankful that it was the weekend because she did not want to face her students. She really cared for her students, but high school students could be so difficult to deal with at times and she did not need more stress.

She made the bed exactly how she was taught, twenty-or-so years ago. Growing up, she knew that she would never have a problem making her bed if she ever decided to join the military. Her father was a veteran of the Army and he was the one who taught. Ali laughed at the memory of her dad teaching her how to make her bed, when it was her friends’ moms who taught her friends.

Ali has always been the light in her father’s eye. She was the youngest of two. She had a brother, one years older. Kyle was a protector of his sister, from the time she was born. Sure, they had their brother and sister fights, but from the best of times, to the worst of times, Kyle and Ali were best friends. Kyle was the one to introduce Ali to sports. The two kids and their dad would spend almost every weekend together playing sports, or hiking trails around their house. Some times their mom would come too, but Ali knew deep down, her mom wished that she would be a ‘lady’, and stay out of sports and the mud. Ali and her mom got along great, but there were times when she felt she was disappointing her mother.

The only thing Ali took from her mother was her passion for reading. Both of them could sit and curl up with book after book and read for days. However, it was really through sports, that she met Ashlyn, and her mother really liked Ashlyn. Always back to Ash. Ali could not stop thinking about her.

Instead of taking a shower right away, Ali decided to see if jogging would release her stress. She had been running since she was in college, and even now, she tried to run three to four times a week. It was a favorite pastime. After running a brush through her long brown hair, she put it up in a ponytail, and then went back into the bedroom to put on her sweats. She put her iPod in her pocket and grabbed her keys on the way out the door.

After doing a couple of stretches to warm up, Ali turned on her music and put the headphones in her ears. She began running, pushing her body to its limits. Even with the music blasting in her ears, she could not help but let her mind wander back to last night. Three hours after their planned dinner, well after the food got cold, she called the hospital. She was told that Ashlyn had gone into surgery at 5:30 and was expected to be out five hours later. She must have taken on another double because she was supposed to be off at 4:00. Lauren, the receptionist, promised to have Ashlyn call home as soon as she was available, but Ali never heard from her. Ali had finally fallen asleep around 1:30.

Ali could not stand to be in the house alone anymore; eating alone, sleeping alone, and watching television alone. She did not know what to do; but she knew that the more that she stayed at home, the more stressed she would become.

An hour of running really took a toll on her body, so she headed home to take a hot shower. She was hoping that some of the stress would go down the drain along with the water. Ali faced the shower head and let the hot water hit her in the face, and run down her sore body. Even though the shower should have been very relaxing, it did not help her stress level. She was still very upset her wife had not come home last night.

No, it wasn’t just that; it was every promise she had broken in the last few months. It was every time she believed Ashlyn and then Ash went back on her word, and yet she believed Ash the next time she promised something. Well, this was the last time. Ashlyn would have to earn back Ali's trust.

After about thirty minutes of standing under the hot water, Ali got out and got dressed; by this time, she was almost in tears again. She called her parents and spoke to her dad. She always went to her dad with her problems, although there was never one this big. With tears running down her face, Ali explained everything that had been going on in the past few months. Her dad insisted that she come stay with them for a few days, to get her mind off everything. After thinking it over, Ali agreed that it would be for the best.

A few minutes later, ali hung up the phone and went up to the attic to find her luggage. She wiped off the cobwebs on the biggest piece; it showed how long it had been since they had last been used. 

Ali took care packing her things. She did not know how long she was going to be at her parents’ house. She did not know what kind of clothes she would need. To be on the safe side, she decided to fill the large suitcases with as much clothes as space would allow.

When she was done, Ali placed it by the front door, and went to Ash’s ‘office-at-home’, as they called it, to get a piece of paper. She had to dig around to find a working pen, but when she found one, Ali took the paper and pen to the kitchen table. She began to write her letter Ashlyn, her wife of nearly six and a half years:

_Dear Ashlyn,_

_Don’t worry about me, I am fine. After last night, I decided that I need to get away for a while. The last few months have been nothing but broken promises, and it is more than I can handle.  I don’t know when I will be back or if I will. Please don’t try to find me or contact me. I need time to myself. I need time to think about ‘us’ and whether or not I still want an ‘us’._

_Recently, you have worked so many double and triple shifts that I do not feel like I am being treated fairly. We have spoken about this before, and nothing has changed. When you first got hired at the hospital we talked about having a family. We even set up appointments with doctors to talk about the steps, and because of your work, we had to cancel all three appointments. I didn’t want to give up trying, but I feel like you have given up on me._

_Even if we had gone through with the IV, we aren't guaranteed a child, but having a wife who seems to want nothing to do with me will guarantee ‘us’ from not having a child. I don’t know the reasons why you have not been home and I don’t know the reasons why you have chosen to pick up double and triple shifts. Every time I ask you, you brush it off like nothing is wrong. I want to know. I want to be able to talk like we used to. I want to take walks during the evenings and be in your arms at night._

_Right now, I don’t know if we will ever be able to do that again, and it scares me. I don’t know what drives you to hurt me the way you have been, or to break your promises. I don’t know if I will ever be able to trust you again. You have broken too many promises, and because of that, you have broken my heart._

_Ali_

That was it. No ‘Love’, no ‘Yours Truly’.

Ali reread the letter, and then folded it in thirds. She wrote Ashlyn’s name on the front and left the letter and pen on the table where she would see it, if Ashlyn ever came home. Shutting the light off in the kitchen felt like she was shutting off the past fourteen years of her life. She couldn’t help crying; tears running down her face. Ashlyn was the only woman Ali ever loved. She knew she still loved Ash, but she hurt Ali. Ali knew she had to leave, but her feet felt like lead. Ali just leaned against the kitchen doorway and cried.

When she could cry no more, she went into the front hall where she left the luggage. It was really easy to put it in the car, but at the same time, it was hard.

Ali made sure the front door was locked, and got into her year old Hyundai Elantra to drive the thirty minutes to her parents.


	3. Chapter 3

“Dr. Harris! Dr. Harris! You had a phone call last night!” Lauren was running down the hospital corridor, frantically trying to get Ashlyn’s attention.  “We were so busy last night,” she gasped as she got closer.  “…And you were in surgery…and… I totally forgot…”  Bent over, Lauren worked to catch her breath now that she had caught up with Ashlyn.

“Slow down, Lauren,” Ashlyn laughed.  “It’s no big deal.  Who called?”

“Your wife.”

It hit Ash like a freight train.  She had completely forgotten.  She had spent so much time working at the hospital over the last few months. Ali was getting frustrated with Ash's long hours and they had been planning a nice romantic dinner. She just forgot that it was last night. Ali had said that one nice, romantic dinner with her wife would mean the world to her.  Just a few hours together was all Ali asked for.  Ashlyn knew how little time she had been spending with her wife, and Ash had promised Ali that she would be home to have dinner with her.  It was yet another promise that Ashlyn had broken in the past few months.

“Dr. Harris, you look devastated!  I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you last night. We were just so busy, and I didn’t want to interrupt you. I’m sure you’ll see her when you go home,” she chuckled.  “It’s Saturday. She has the day off.  Why don’t the two of you go somewhere by yourselves and enjoy the day together? I’m sure she would love it. Besides, you get off in thirty minutes.”

Brought back into the present, Ashlyn stumbled for something to say.  “Um, sure, that sounds like a great idea Lauren.  Maybe I’ll take her to the art museum and see the new exhibit on Barcelona.  Ali has always been interested in architecture.”

“She’ll love that.  That ought to make up for missing one phone call.”

 _Oh, Lauren_ , thought Ashlyn, _if only you knew_.

As Ashlyn turned to walk away she could have sworn Lauren had a smile on her face. Ash figured that Lauren thought it was because of her idea, for Ashlyn and Ali to spend time together, that everything would now be alright. Lauren had always been naïve, and Ashlyn did not want to get into it now with her. As Ash walked into the doctor’s lounge, she noticed her best friend, Tobin, sleeping on a cot.

“Tobin!” Ashlyn stated, as she kicked the leg of the cot and sat down on the next cot over. “Wake up!”

Tobin Heath open her eyes, and glanced at her watch.

“I’ve got 30 minutes left. Why’d you wake me?”

“Tobs, I need a favor. Can you cover the last thirty minutes of my shift? I missed dinner last night, and want to get home to Ali.”

“Oh no! You are in big trouble!” replied Tobin, with a smirk on her face as she sat up on the cot and swung her legs around.

“Listen, I don’t want to get into it now. Please can you cover my shift?” There was a plea in the way Ashlyn asked.

“Lucky for you my friend, your sister is also your wife’s best friend. And I am the lucky woman who married your sister. Oh, I can’t wait to hear all about it.” Tobin rubbed her hands together teasingly.

“Please?”

“Of course, I’ll cover your shift. You better get home and apologize to that wonderful woman of yours.”

“Thanks Tobs,” Ash said, as she stood up. She walked over to the coat hooks and grabbed her jacket that she placed there almost twenty four hours ago.

“Don’t worry Ash, Ali is probably waiting for you at home with breakfast ready.”

Tobin took one more look at her watch and stood up. She stretched her back, and then grabbed her cell phone and pager. She opened the door for her best friend, and followed Ash out of the room.

“Bye Ash. See you later.”

“Thanks Tobin.”

Ashlyn walked over to Lauren’s desk. Ash told her that Dr. Heath was going to finish up her shift. As she walked away, Lauren said something about having fun at the museum. Ashlyn didn’t even hear her. She just wanted to get home, take her wife in her arms, and apologize. Apologize for every missed dinner, every night she never came home.

With tears forming in her eyes, Ashlyn walked out of the hospital doors and into the morning sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I have Alex and Ashlyn as sisters in this. It's AU. ;-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm giving you these "pre-written" chapters too fast. I need to start writing the rest of it so I don't leave you hanging too long. ;-)

The jeep was silent on Ashlyn’s way home.  She kept the radio off so she could rehearse what she would say to Ali when she got home.  Ashlyn wondered if she should call her wife, but she thought it would be better to see her face-to-face.

Ash had seen Ali's looks of disappointment so often during the past two years.  She wasn't looking forward to explaining why she hadn't called her back, and Ash knew that telling Ali it wasn't her fault, wasn't going to make it any better.  It was her fault; she had broken a promise, and she knew Ali had been upset all night. But at the same time, the surgeon on duty last night had called off because he was sick. It was just easier for Ashlyn to stay there than to call in another doctor.

She should have just called home. She should have known that Ali would still have wanted to know where she was. Taking the double was a mistake, but it wasn't her first. It was just a mistake that she will probably have to live with the rest of her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the garage door was opening, Ashlyn was not surprised to see Ali’s car gone. Yes, she was disappointed, but not surprised. Saturday is the day Ali normally runs her errands, whatever she could not get accomplished during the week: dry cleaners, bank, and grocery shopping, etc.

Grocery shopping…there was a time, Ashlyn remembered, when her and Ali would go grocery shopping together. While most people found it to be a mundane job, Ali had always loved grocery shopping and Ashlyn had always loved going with her. Ash could not remember the last time they had gone grocery shopping together, let alone the last time they had gone out to do something together. She tried hard to remember the last time they had spent a whole day together, but she just couldn't.

As Ashlyn walked through the door, she smelled Ali's perfume. Her scent lingering in the air made her miss Ali terribly. She went into the kitchen, to see if anything remained from last night’s dinner. The sink was clear of all dishes, and there was nothing in the refrigerator.

Feeling her stomach growl, Ash grabbed a box of cookies from the top of the refrigerator. She opened the box and grabbed five. Then she took the milk out of the refrigerator. Leaning against the counter, she popped a cookie in her mouth, and chased it with the milk.

Ali always yelled at Ash for drinking milk right out of the container, but it was a habit that Ali could not get Ash to break. Ashlyn could not understand why it was a big deal to Ali. They drank different types of milk, so why couldn't she drink out of her container. Ash enjoyed whole milk, while Ali preferred one percent. She repeated her process of eating a cookies and swigging milk until both the cookies and milk were gone.

Ashlyn went to the garbage to throw the empty container away and she saw last night’s dinner in the trash. A rush of sadness filled her and she had to sit down. As she sat in a chair at the kitchen table, she noticed a folded paper with her name written on it in her wife’s handwriting. She picked up the letter and unfolded it.

As Ashlyn read Ali's words tears formed in her eyes. Ash could not believe what she was reading. How could Ali just up and leave her?  She knew Ali was upset, but she never had realized exactly how upset she was. Ashlyn loved her. Couldn't Ali see that?

Ashlyn took her cell phone off her belt, and hit the speed dial button for her wife. _Please pick up_ , she willed Ali. She became very frustrated when Ali's phone went right to voice mail; screw her letter, Ashlyn really needed to talk to her, but she must have turned her phone turned off.

Ash left the opened letter on the kitchen table and ran up the stairs, into the bedroom. She yanked opened the closet they shared and saw that a lot of her clothes had been removed. That is when her heart sunk.

Ashlyn realized that Ali was really gone. She had no idea when her wife would be back. She also had no idea where her wife had gone. Oh, she had a few ideas, but nothing seemed certain. Her brother’s? Her parents’? Her best friend’s, aka Ashlyn's sister's?

All Ashlyn knew was that she wanted Ali back in her arms. She wanted to apologize for what she had done to her.

But, it was too late. She couldn't.


	5. Chapter 5

Ashlyn went back downstairs and into the kitchen. She picked up the house phone and dialed a number she knew by heart. The phone was picked up on the second ring.

“Hello.” Ash felt a lump in her throat when she heard the familiar voice on the other line.

“Hey lil’ sis,” she said in response. Ashlyn had called Alex ‘lil sis’ since the day she was brought home from the hospital, and the nickname still stuck twenty-seven years later.

“Hi Ash! Long time no talk. What’s up?”

“I was just wondering if you heard from Ali today,” she asked with hope in her voice.

Alex could tell that something was wrong; she heard it in the way Ashlyn had asked.

“Not since last week. Why?”

“She’s…she’s…gone.” That was all Ashlyn could say before her eyes welled up and tears fell uncontrollably. “I…missed dinner…last night. Broke…promise. Ali left…letter said she needed…time alone.”

“Ash, I am so sorry. Do you want me to call Ali?”

“Phone…off. Don’t…know where…she is.”

Both ends of the phones were silent.

Alex knew about the problems Ashlyn and Ali were having, but like Ash, Alex had not known it had gotten this bad. Being the best friend to her sister’s wife helped out in a lot of situations, but this was a situation she never thought she would be in. She used Ashlyn and Ali’s relationship as a model for her and Tobin; open communication, trust, and sense of humor, among other important qualities in a relationship. She never would have thought in a million years, something like this would happen to her sister and her wife.

“Ash, do you want me to come over?”

“Please,” Ashlyn responded.

“Okay, give me a few minutes to let the dogs outside, and I will be right over. Fifteen minutes.”

“Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t tell Tobin yet.”

“Whatever you want Ashlyn. I love you.”

“Love you too lil’ sis.”

They hung up the phone at the same time. Ash was glad someone was coming over. She needed some one to talk to. Her sister had always been there for her, just as she was always there for Alex.

There was one time when Alex was in college that Ashlyn had received a call from the police department. Alex had been arrested for under-age, public intoxication along with two of her friends.  She asked the officer to call Ashlyn instead of her parents. The officer told her she was lucky she was eighteen, and not a minor, otherwise her parents would have had to be called. But instead, Ashlyn drove the hour to pick her sister up at the police department and drive her back to her dorm. Ash stayed with Alex that night to help sober her up. To this day, their parents still didn't know about Alex’s night with Jack…Jack Daniels that is.

Even a memory like that could not put a smile on Ash’s face. She had dug herself a hole that was quickly filling up with water. She was the one drowning and now it was Alex’s turn to try to save her.  


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to post this tonight, as I am exhausted. However, I have been trying to do a chapter a day, and I wanted to keep it up while I could. Hopefully I didn't miss anything in the converting.

The silence in the car bothered Ali; her mind kept wandering back to her wife. Ali turned the radio on, and found her favorite station. Commercials. Never a good song on when she needed it. She scanned the stations and settled on a soft rock song she knew quite well. She turned the volume up as loud as her ears could take and sang along until the song was over. Then her mind started drifting again.

She had turned her cell phone off during the drive to her parents’ house; she was not quite ready to talk to Ashlyn. She may try to call, even though she had told her wife not to. Ali wondered if Ash was still at the hospital or had she finally come home. _Had she even seen my note yet? Did it mean anything to her?_  Part of her could not wait to get to her parents’ house so she could talk to someone. The other part of her wanted to go some place where she could sort out her thoughts. There was a nice pond about a mile from her parents’ house, so she decided to take a detour.

As she pulled into the parking lot, Ali was surprised to see the amount of cars there. It was a beautiful day in November; no jacket required. The sun was shinning and there was not a cloud in the sky. She got out of her car and put her purse in the trunk. As Ali was walking toward the pond, she noticed kids playing ball and skateboarding. Although her legs were still sore from running that morning, she started walking around the pond.

Ali did everything she could not to think of Ashlyn on her walk, but with every bench she past, with couples cuddling or holding hands, memories of Ash and her came rushing back. It was not long ago when she and her wife would come to this park and walk around the pond or hold hands while sitting somewhere. She loved sitting under trees rather than on a man-made bench, she felt closer to nature that way. Even though it was something she was used to doing with Ash, after she made one lap around the pond, Ali found a tree and sat against the trunk.

As she sat there, Ali watched parents and their children. Some dads were throwing balls to their kids while moms were being overly protective. ‘ _Watch your step_ ,’ or ‘ _stay where I can see you_.’ Other moms and dads were buying their kids ice cream or Italian Ices, even though it was before lunch time. Still more parents were helping their kids ride bike for the first time, or helping their young ones down the slide. They were even helping older children with the monkey bars.

During this time of just sitting and watching parents with their kids, Ali couldn’t help but wonder what type of parent she would end up being. _Would she be the overprotective parent or the carefree parent that lets her kids have ice cream before lunch? Or would she be the one holding her child up while they maneuver the jungle gym while Ashlyn helps another one on the bike?_ Lost in her thoughts, she did not hear someone come up behind her.

“Hey” said a familiar male voice behind her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I got a tip you may be around the pond. So I came to do my brotherly duty. How are you holding up?”

Ali looked up, and saw Kyle leaning against the tree. He was dressed in his usual way: tight black tee with skinny jeans and converse. He had a black trench coat unbuttoned and his sleeves pushed up, showing off his tattoo sleeves.

“Let me guess, Mom sent you here?” Ali asked her brother as she looked back toward the pond. She didn’t really need to ask, but just wanted to make conversation.

“Yeah.” Kyle laughed. “As soon as Dad told her what happened, she started freaking out. I told here if you were not at their house in a reasonable time, I would come looking for you.”

“And since this is my favorite place, Mom told you to start here, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, I guess the whole town knows now. You know, with probably Mom freaking out and all. As if it wasn't bad enough that both of her children are gay, now her little girl just up and leaves her wife! How could I?” Ali tried to tease. Her brother was always able to be a calming method for her, and her mood changed by his presence,

“Oh come on, don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not like we live in a small town, I mean only about ten thousand people. I doubt the whole town knows, word doesn't get around that fast,” Kyle chuckled.

“Alright, the whole neighborhood knows,” Ali smiled at her brother.

“Yeah, probably. Anyway, like I said, I just came to make sure you are doing okay.” When Ali did not answer Kyle, he continued, “Mind if I sit down for a bit?”

“Sure, go ahead.” She scooted over and made room against the tree trunk for him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Ali looked around enjoying the beautiful weather.

“Look at those guys over there,” Ali teased, pointing to three early-twenty year olds. “They can’t seem to take their eyes off of you. I tell you that you are good looking, but you never believe me.” She gave Kyle a wink.

“Nah, they are staring at you. You are the girl whose mother is freaking out because her perfect daughter left her perfect wife.”

“Very funny,” she retorted as she gave her brother a punch on the arm, but for a guy who works out three to four times a week, he barely felt it.

“Okay, you got to tell me. What’s up? I mean you and Ash. What happened?”

“I don’t know, Kyle.” Ali's voice got very serious all over again. “One week we’re fine, out doing things married couples do. The next, she is working double and triple shifts. I didn't even know triple shifts were allowed. I mean I never see her anymore. It seems like she only comes home to eat and sleep. She’s put me, and our life together, on the back burner. I just can’t handle being second to her job.”

Kyle took a deep breath, his heart breaking as his sister explained. “Oh sis, I didn't realize it was that bad. I am so sorry.”

“Thanks Kyle.” Ali wiped the tears from her eyes.

Kyle put his arms around his baby sister, and they continued to sit in silence.


	7. Chapter 7

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

The taping on the door of the employee lounge woke Ashlyn up. As she opened her eyes, Tobin was entering the room and had shut the door behind her. She sat down on the cot next to Ash. A look of ‘ _What_ _are you doing here_ ’ was on Tobin’s face.

“Ali left me,” Ashlyn said as she sat up, answering her best friend’s unspoken question. “I can't sleep at home without her there.”

“When?”

“Yesterday. I just keep waiting for her to come home.”

“Is this because of the missed dinner?”

“There is a lot more to it than that. Six months of broken promises. Dinner last night, I guess was as they say, the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“Did she say anything to you?” Tobin asked.

“She left me this note,” Ashlyn said as she pulled the note out of her pants pocket and handed it over. “I found it on the kitchen table.”

Tobin opened it and read it over.

“Oh man, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say, other than this sucks.” Tobin stated after reading the note.

“Tell me about it. I just can’t believe she is gone. Ali is my whole world.”

“Alex know about this?”

“Yeah, I told her yesterday. She came over and we talked for a few hours.”

“And she didn’t say anything to me! Hmmm!”

“There was a moment of silence before Ashlyn said, “I just don’t know what to do.” She bowed her head slightly and started shaking it.

“Look, you two will find a way to work it out. You always have before.” Tobin laid her hand on Ashlyn's leg.

“I don’t know, Tobin. I really screwed up this time.”

“Come on dude. Don’t think like that. Just give her some time to cool off. You’ll be back with her before Thanksgiving.”

“I hope you’re right. Thanksgiving is in less than a week.” Ashlyn responded as she stood up to stretch and looked at her watch. “Come on, let’s go get some breakfast. I am starving and my shift starts in an hour.”

As Ashlyn walked past Tobin to grab her wallet from her employee locker, Tobin grabbed her shoulder.

“Everything will work out. You and Ali have gone through too much for it to end like this. Alex and me, we look up to you two. Your relationship isn’t perfect. No one’s is, but you and Ali are meant to be. I mean that.”

Tobin brought Ashlyn in for a tight embrace before walking out of the lounge to get some breakfast at the diner right outside the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the "original" stuff. I'm sorry it's so short.
> 
> Maybe I'll get around to posting the ending (that I've been working on all week) this weekend. ;-)


	8. Chapter 8

Thanksgiving came and went. Ali spent the holiday with her family, and Ashlyn spent the morning at the hospital, but was home for dinner at her Grandmother’s. Of course Chris and Alex were there too, as was Tobin, as Tobin had the evening off as well. Even though Alex was her sister, Ash wasn’t sure how awkward it would be to have Ali’s best friend at the table but not Ali.

Surprisingly, it actually almost seemed normal – almost. Other than her wife not being there. 

Ali continued to ignore Ashlyn’s calls and texts and so Ash starting texting Kyle. But even he couldn’t get anywhere with his sister. In terms of choosing sides, he had no choice but to side with Ali. After all, she was his sister and his best friend. The only problem was that Ashlyn was also one of his best friends.

Kyle helped Ashlyn set up a meeting with Ali two Saturdays after Thanksgiving. All Kyle had to do was bring Ali to Starbucks, as if he was treating her to coffee, and Ashlyn would meet them there. When Kyle and Ali were waiting for their drinks to be ready, Ashlyn walked in. Ali saw her and immediately crossed her arms over her chest and turned to Kyle.

“What is _she_ doing here?” Ali glared at her brother, completely ignoring Ashlyn as she walked over to the siblings.

“ _She_ wanted talk to you,” Kyle answered, as he scorned the way his sister had stressed the ‘ _she_ ’. “Please hear her out?”

“I don’t want to talk to her!” Ali replied to her brother. She couldn’t understand why her own brother seemed to be turning on her.

“Alex please, just hear me out?” Ashlyn said softly as she reached out to touch her wife’s arm, but Ali pulled away quickly.

Ali put her index finger up, and pointed it at Ashlyn’s face. “It’s Ali to you. Only my family gets to use Alex.” Her anger showed through as she spoke to her wife for the first time in two weeks.

“So I’m not your family anymore?” Ashlyn was hurt that her wife would even insinuate that.

“You don’t know what family means, Ashlyn. You need to earn that back.”

“How can I earn it back when you won’t give me a chance?” Ashlyn’s tone was a lot calmer that her wife’s.

“You can start by not having your sister and my brother do your dirty work!” Ali threw out.

“My dirty work?” The doctor was confused at her wife’s words.

“You’re using them to get me to talk to you.” Ali accused.

“You're ignoring my calls and texts!” Ashlyn retorted back.

“Ever think it’s because I don’t want to talk to you?”

“Okay. Look, Ali, I’m sorry.” There was an admission of guilt in Ashlyn’s voice. “I’m sorry I hurt you this much. I lost the best thing that I ever had, and I didn’t realize it until it was too late. I want my wife back. I want us back. Please help me make this right.”

Ali kept her lips shut and just shook her head. She picked up her coffee when the barista set hers and Kyle’s on the counter and she turned to walk away.

“Kyle, please!” Ashlyn begged her brother-in-law as he followed his sister out of the coffee shop.

He turned around to face Ashlyn, and she saw the same defeated look that Ali had. “I’m sorry Ash, I tried. This is between you and her now.”

Ali and Kyle left Ashlyn standing there, but with a split-second decision, she ran after them.

“Ali wait!” Ash called after her wife. “Please let me explain!”

Although Ali had her back to Ashlyn, Ashlyn saw her wife exhale as she looked at her brother. Kyle nodded at Ali, as if saying that he agreed she should hear what Ashlyn has to say. Listening to her brother, Ali slowly turned around, although she wasn’t able to hide the look of annoyance on her face.

Ashlyn was actually surprised that her wife stopped and turned around. She had figured this was going to be another failed attempt at trying to talk to Ali. That Ali was going to ignore her again, for the umpteenth time. Ash stood there, completely shocked, losing her train of thought.

“You better start talking, or I’m leaving.” Ali gave the blonde an ultimatum.

Ashlyn didn’t know where to begin. “I um, well, I guess I have always wanted to be a doctor. I remember that was all I wanted when I was a kid. I wanted to heal people, to take care of them, to fix them. I worked my ass off in school. I was told I needed to get good grades if I wanted to go to med school. So I did. I got into a great college, and then a great med school. And now here I am, making my dreams come true.”

Ash stopped to take a breath, and prepare her thoughts, but Ali cut in, her tone sarcastic but hesitant. “I’m happy for you? What do you want me to say Ashlyn?”

“Nothing yet, please just hear me out.” Ashlyn explained as she hung her head. “I had everything I wanted, everything I had dreamed of. Or at least I thought I did. Ali, I screwed up. Yes, being a doctor was something I’ve always wanted. But I don’t want to have a life without you. It took me until now to realize what I blindly sacrificing our marriage to reach my goal, and it made me lose sight of what I truly wanted, what I already had. I want you Ali. I’m so sorry.”

Ashlyn took a step forward, wanting to reach out to embrace her wife, but Ali put her hand up to stop her as she took a step back. Ali tightened her lips together and shook her head at Ashlyn.

“I can’t do this anymore Ashlyn. I can’t be second to your career.”

“You won’t. I promise,” Ashlyn pleaded. “I will fix this. Please come home, Ali.”

Ali shook her head no again, as she opened the car door. “I'm with my parents, in the house I grew up in. I am home, Ashlyn.” Her voice cracked, but she got into the car before Ashlyn could see her cry.

Ashlyn didn't know what else to do. She explained everything to Ali, and then Ali still didn't want to come back. It was as if Ali was giving up on their marriage that Ashlyn was willing to fight for. 

Kyle looked over the roof of the car to Ashlyn who already had tears streaming down her face. He gave her a sympathetic smile, as he opened his car door. "I'm sorry Ash, I tried." 

“Take care of her Kyle. I love her.” Ashlyn said to her brother-in-law before turning back to walk her own car.


	9. Chapter 9

“She’s home you know,” Alex said to her best friend and sister-in-law, breaking the silence.

It was two days before Christmas. Alex and Ali were doing their traditional best friend dinner and gift exchange. Granted, they usually spent Christmas together since they were family, but this tradition meant more to them. It was time the two of spent alone together.

“I don’t care,” Ali replied harshly, before slinking back in her chair and changing her tone. “I mean, how do you know?”

“Tobin told me.” Alex answered. “She hasn’t seen Ashlyn at the hospital since her _scheduled_ shift ended two days ago.”

Ali shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what else to say.

“Ali, Ash is trying to change.” Alex explained, trying to get Ali to see what Alex and Tobin had been witnessing.

“She needs to prove it first.” Ali responded coldly, turning away from her best friend.

“How Ali?!?” Alex raised her voice slightly. “You won’t give her a chance. I’m telling you, that woman is in love with you and is trying to be at home more, trying to get back with you, and you are blowing me off. You aren't listening as I am giving you proof. I’m not Ashlyn, don’t take your anger out on me.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry Alex,” Ali conceded. “You didn’t deserve it. I just need to see it before I can believe it. She said she wants to change, and she can talk all she wants. I want to see it happen. I need to see it before I can be with her again. I can’t continue to be second to her career.”

Alex exhaled, before grabbing Ali's hands and holding them in hers. "She is trying Ali. She really is." There was a pause before Alex continued, “Do you love her?”

“Yes.” Ali said softly, but without missing a beat. “She just hurt me, and I’m not sure if I can forgive her for that.”

“Ali, talk to her. Listen to her. Make her listen to you. You two are meant to be together and stay together. This is just a bump in your marriage. Christmas is in two days. I know you don’t want to be alone for another holiday.”

Alex’s tone was calm and soothing. It made Ali really think about her decisions and what she wanted between her and Ashlyn.

But then Alex broke out into a huge grin. “Besides, I don’t want to spend another holiday with Ashlyn and Chris together with Tobin. I need you there for moral support. I don’t care that Ash and Chris are my siblings, I need you!”

“Yeah, you’re right. Those three against you. That’s one hell of an unfair disadvantage.” Ali finally laughed for what felt like the first time in ages, before getting somber again. “I’ll think about it Alex. I need to think some more.”

“If you seriously want her back Ali, don’t think too long. You don’t want to lose her.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter today because it's halftime and I'm feeling generous. Maybe if you want I can post the last one later tonight. ;-)

Ashlyn rushed home from her overnight shift. It was Christmas Eve and she knew it was Ali’s favorite holiday. Forget Thanksgiving, and even Christmas Day, it was Christmas Eve that Ali loved.

When Ashlyn pulled in the driveway, Ali’s car wasn’t there. Of course not, it hadn’t been in the usual spot for over a month now, but Ashlyn felt that today should have been different.

She walked inside the house and nothing was right. There was no tree up, no music playing, not even the smell of Christmas cookies being made. Everything normal was missing.

Ashlyn made her way into the bedroom, the place she shared with Ali for so many years. The bed hadn’t been touched in weeks; the couch was where Ashlyn had been sleeping when she was home recently. But, Ashlyn couldn’t help herself. She laid down on the bed, curled up above the covers, and held on to Ali’s pillow, engulfing herself in Ali’s scent.

She closed her eyes, remembering back to how it used to be years ago, even months ago. When was their last vacation? As soon as Ali came home, Ashlyn knew she had to put in for time off, to make this up to her wife. If Ali came home that was…

No! Ashlyn couldn’t let herself think like that. She had to think positive. That was the only way she would be able to cope with all the family obligations in the next few days. All these family obligations without her wife by her side. But Ali had been gone a month now, how much longer did she need to think things through?

Ashlyn sat up in bed as an idea dawned on her. She quickly got up and made her way into the attic. She began dragging box after box downstairs.

Once everything was brought into the living room, Ashlyn began the task of decorating. It didn’t matter to her that Christmas was the next day and the decorations would soon have to come down after that. What mattered to her was bringing back the normalcy in the holidays, the way Ali decorated every year while Ashlyn helped. Or rather, while Ali told Ashlyn how to set things perfectly.

Ashlyn never minded being told how to decorate. Ali loved setting things up a specific way, and if the final result made Ali happy, then it made Ashlyn happy. 

It took her hours to set the tree up, shape it, and decorate it. She used the white lights on the tree, and made sure that Ali’s favorite ornaments were the ones in front. When Ashlyn was done with the tree, she set the stockings on the mantle, as well as set up the manger in the middle.

Next Ashlyn wrapped the banisters with green garland and white lights. She then switched out the hand towels in the bathroom and place mats in the kitchen to the Christmas ones that Ali had bought a few years ago.

By the time Ashlyn was done with everything, it was getting dark outside. She stood in the living room, admiring her work, and silently thanking the one person who taught her to give her all to decorating for Christmas. When she turned everything on, the room has a beautiful white glow to it, and Ashlyn felt a calming sense take over her for the first time in over a month.

It looked perfect. Just they way it would have been if Ali was home.

Ashlyn went into the bedroom, and into her side of the closet, taking out the gifts she bought Ali throughout the year. Bringing them into the kitchen, along with the paper, she took her time and carefully wrapped them all. Then she placed them neatly under the tree.

She turned on the fireplace and hooked her iPod up to the speakers for some Christmas music, before taking a seat in Ali’s favorite chair. She glanced up at the clock above the mantle and it read 10:19.

And so she sat there, trying not to fall asleep. Her body finally giving up the fight from her long shift at the hospital and then hours of decorating the house for Christmas; she was exhausted. Ashlyn fell asleep sitting up next to the fireplace.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had this ending idea for longer than the story has been written (even the original version). From the very first time I hear This Christmas Time performed by Lonestar, I had this scene in my head. I initially thought it would have made a good plot for a music video, but instead, I decided to write a whole story instead.

Ashlyn woke from a deep sleep when she heard a car turn on to the street. She looked up at the clock, which now read 11:45. Ashlyn couldn’t believe she had slept over an hour in an upright position. She must have been extremely worn out from work and then coming home and decorating the house.

_Presents underneath the tree, candles burning bright_  
 _Stockings hung with lots of care, on this silent Christmas night_

Ashlyn thought her eyes were deceiving her when she saw headlights on the ceiling; headlights of a car pulling into the driveway. “ _They must be turning around. They could be lost_ ,” she thought to herself as she relaxed back into the chair. However, she heard the car engine stop and the car door open and then close. “ _Could it really be_?”

_What makes this season magical, is what made my dream come true_  
 _Just seeing you, to be here with you_

Ashlyn got up from the chair and practically ran to the top of the stairs. When she got there she waited, listening closely for any other noises.

And there was one – a key in the door handle.

Ashlyn slid down the steps, her body moving as fast as her feet could carry her. When she got to the bottom of the steps the front door opened.

_Oh this Christmas time, is the best one ever_  
 _The greatest gift in life, is you and me together_  
 _And I thank heaven for sending you here tonight,_  
 _This Christmas time_

Ashlyn and Ali looked at each other, not moving. Neither one of them wanted to break this moment. Finally Ali rushed over to her wife, and wrapped her arms around her. The force knocked Ashlyn down, and she took her wife with her. Sitting on the steps, wrapped in each other’s arms, both of them had tears running down their face.

_Some people hope for rings of gold, all that money buys_  
 _Children have their list of toys, prayin' Santa gets it right_  
 _The one thing I wish for, came true when you walked in_  
 _To hear you laugh again, to see you smile again_

“You’re home!” Ashlyn continued to say over and over as she pulled Ali closer to her, burying her head into Ali’s neck.

“I’m here baby,” Ali reassured her wife as she wrapped a hand into the blonde’s hair. “I’m here.”

_Oh this Christmas time, is the best one ever_  
 _The greatest gift in life, is you and me together_  
 _And I thank heaven for sending you here tonight,_  
 _Oh this Christmas time_

“I’m so sorry!” Ashlyn started apologizing repeatedly. “I’m so, so sorry Princess.”

“It’s Christmas, baby. Let’s talk about this later.” Ali consoled her wife rubbing her back. “Tonight is not the time.”

_Oh this Christmas time, is the best one ever_  
 _The greatest gift in life, is you and me together_  
 _And I thank heaven for sending you here tonight,_  
 _Sending you here tonight_  
 _This Christmas time_


End file.
